Chpt 3- His Finances

I LOVE numbers, I see them everywhere. I can do math in my mind faster than my mom can do it on a calculater- which really irratated her while teaching me Algebra... My hubby understands this and has allowed me the priviledge (and sometimes burden) of taking care of the finances for our family. I like to think it helps him out. He works such long shifts and extra jobs, he shouldnt have to come home and worry about getting the bills paid and books balanced, too. He trusts what I say when it comes time to purchase something and seldom questions or pushes for more. He did push for a chainsaw and I gave in. But it has come in quite handy around the farm and now I am researching a small one for me for those little trees that need to go...

In this chapter one thing stood out to me. Nothing puts more pressure on a marriage than financial irresponsibility, lack of money or huge debt. HELLO!!! I fully understand that one! When we got married we had so much debt. Hubby wanted to pay one way, I wanted to pay another. We ended up compromising (which it vital for marriage, in my opinion) and some things were paid his way, while others were paid the way I was comfortable with. I read, and reread, Debt Proof Your Marriage by Mary Hunt. I still pull it off the shelf from time to time to brush up. We found that the "snowball" payoff worked best for us. We paid off the smallest bill, then took the amount we were paying on it and added it to the next smallest bill.

Example:
Bill 1 Due $500.00 Paying $100.00 a month
Bill 2 Due $800.00 Paying $75.00 a month
Bill 3 Due $1000.00 Paying $115.00 a month

When bill 1 was paid off the $100.00 was rolled into bill 2's payment, now making it $175.00 to get it paid off sooner. Then that payment was added to bill 3's paying $285.00 a month on it... I hope that makes sense.

We had ALL our credit cards and loans (except for house and car) paid off before our first anniversary... I was so excited! I am not comfortable with debt. And the more debt we have the more stressed I get. Which in turns puts stress into our marriage- not good!

I know different people handle money different ways. This is what works best for our family in this moment... yeah- that's about it for this train of though....

just something fun

I was all smiles last night, still am this afternoon. Im not sure why. I am just overflowing with joy :) With the current work situation, hubby has been home EVERY night for over a week... that never happens unless we are on vacation (and this rarely happens and definately not for a week) We have fed the fish, walked the property, gotten mail, worked in the yard and garden together. A couple of nights ago he looked at me and said "you look beautiful". He says I look good when I ask before we go out somewhere, but very rarely does he flat out say that... made me blush :) I said thankyou, walked into the kitchen, put the milk in back in the fridge and came back to him, wondering- "why am I beautiful today?" "You just look nice, your hair pulled back like that, a little dirty from yard work. I like it".... awe- melt my heart!!! I hope I never forget that!
When we moved here I dreamed, literally, that we would be swinging by the lake in the evening just talking about nonsense, family walks after dinner, just being together. We have been living here for nearly 2 years and this is the first week I can think of that my dreams have become reality... I am getting spoiled by his being home, I love it. I never thought I would. I am pretty independent and enjoy my time alone. But this exceeds my dreams. I think I will bask in the love and happiness... God is so good to me!

Chapter 2- His Work

Well, considering all that has been going on the last week with hubbys work, this chapter really opened my eyes on how to be there for him, how to encourage him and pray for him. After reading chapter 2 I think I finally realize how important WORK is to our husbands. It is not just a job, it is almost like an identity of sorts. It is their way of taking care of the family, Ecclesiastes 3:13 says "because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do."
Work makes my hubby happy, it is a "source of fullfilment"... I had mentioned to hubby the possibility of changing occupations, his response was- 'I like my job, I enjoy what I do...' DUH! He comes home so tired, beatup and, somedays, looking like he has been in a catfight. But he is always excited to tell me about what he did. I wouldnt want him to be in any other job, unless he comes home even more excited. Hubby is so good to me. I know he loves me, oh so much! He has given me the wonderful gift of being able to stay home with our daughter, of being a homemaker and soon, a teacher. :) I will need TONS of prayers on the last one... :)
Omartian writes "You can pray for his eyes to be opened to see what God wants him to do, and where God is leading. Your prayers can help him feel appreciated and encouraged enough to recognize he has worth no matter what he does." Who doesn't want that prayed for them. I imagine in todays world with so much pressure on materialistic things, that many men, and women too, feel that it doesnt matter what job they have as long as they are making enough money to keep up with society. I want hubby to know that no matter what he does I appreciate him and love him for what he does for our family. I want to be able to encourage him so he knows how much he is worth to me and our daughter.
Hubby drives a diesel truck and our daughter knows the sound of his truck. There are a few that drive up and down our road, but she knows his specifically. We will be putting an extra lock up at the top of the door because when he gets home she is out the door, excited to see her daddy. I think, tonight when he gets home, I will run with her. I want him to know how excited I am to see him home, too... I hope we dont knock him down :)

Quote to think about: "If your husband is a hard worker, make sure he has times of rest and enjoyment- to do things that entertain him and give him a reprieve from the weight of a lifetime of supporting a family. Men need periods of refreshing."

Second Reading

I have re-read chapter 1... So many things I liked about this chapter... here are a few
Has anyone read The Five Love Languages by Chapman ? Its a very good book. Omartian wrote that prayer is the 'ulitmate love language'. Websters defination of ULTIMATE:final, conclusive, extreme, greatest... praying for our hubbies is the greatest way we can show love to them. Its so simple, why hadnt I realized this before? I will be thinking on this for a while...
The bible says there is a time for everything *turn, turn, turn*. I am a talker... have been since I was little, and now my daughter is, too... but in marriage I am learning that sometimes, well for me alot of the time, it is best to keep quiet. Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 "There is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to keep quiet and a time to speak." How do we know when it is time to just be quiet? We should pray to God when we start to get angered instead of speaking with words of anger and hate. Maybe it really is best to think before we speak... Gonna work on this one more..
I read somewhere that a mother (of older children) parked in one of the "Expectant Mother" parking spots at the grocery store. When she was confronted about it she said "I am an expecting mother. I expect my children to obey..." ha ha,still makes me laugh ... When I got married I expected we would do the chores together. Well, I realized very quickly that I clean the bathrooms, while he is happy to cut the grass (and I am more than happy to let him) :) Omartian says to "Let go of as many expectations as possible. Accept your husband the way he is and pray for him to grow." How do you get rid of expectations? How do you pray for God to take them away? Do you replace the expecting with something else? Maybe it is replaced with contentment... maybe you end up content with how things are, you become a 'happy-go-lucky' type of person.
Last thought... I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman... I think I may write out Proverbs 31 and tape it to me mirror in the bathroom...

slowly but surely

I have finally finished chapter 1 in The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. WOW- We have alot to do as wives in the prayer department... It is nothing impossible- especially with God- but I may have to reread the chapter again, just to make sure I work on everything. I want to be the best wife my hubby could have. I want to set a Godly example for my daughter. I want to make my relationships so much better, but I know I need to go through God first, for his help and guidence, for his grace.

I pray regularly for a hedge of protection. Our Sunday School teacher used that phrase one day and I have adopted it as one of my own... Omartian talks about putting up a "hedge of protection" around our marriage, saying that we can stand against negative influences in our marriage... I want a the hedge to protect my family from harm, but I had never thought of having it protect my relationship. The thought of God being that hedge, providing the hedge, to keep our marriage safe, making it strong and healthy... I LOVE IT!! It seems so hard at times, almost impossible, to do or say the right things. Knowing that God is in the middle of it all, covering us with his love and protecting us gives me a peace, a sense of calm that we will survive :) **remembering a little dancing alien from college...**

Quotes from the book:
""...your attitude must be, 'Whatever You want, Lord. Show me and I'll do it.' It means being willing to die to yourself and say, 'Change me, Lord'."
""Prayer is the ultimate love language."

Change me, Lord!

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Ok- when then enemy is out to get you, boy, he doesnt kid around, does he?? I have finished the chapter "The Power" and am now working on the actual first chapter "His Wife"... My husband came home early a couple of days ago and said he was home for a while due to issues at work. His superiors have sent him home so they can look into a few incidents and try to figure out what happened. Hubby says there is nothing to worry about, it will all blow over with a laugh. But I still cried and prayed to God- "help us though this..." "keep us strong..." "help me to not stress or worry about this..." Satan, though, implanted so many of my worst fears into my mind, nearly driving me crazy. It did drive me to tears and a phone call to my dad, though. Then, I prayed some more...

After a few tears, I remembered this book. I remembered a prayer in it Omartian had written. It was a simple three word prayer. I cant even tell you how many times I prayed it. I cant tell you how often I would just look at my hubby and simply say "Protect him, Lord" or something like "Ease his spirit, help him know you are watching out for us". We are trying to look at this situation as a mixed blessing. Things need to be done around the house and property, and he now has a few days off to work on them. God is good!

Quote from the book:
"When a heart becomes hard, there is no vision from God's perspective... We dont see the whole picture...When we pray, however, our hearts become soft toward God and we get a vision. We see there is hope."
"The purpose is to ask God to make your heart right, show you how to be a good wife, share the burdens of your soul and seek Gods blessing on your husband."

OK- so task for this week is to pray for God to change me as I continue to read the chapter on us "wives"...

The Power of a praying wife

OK- first day reading the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I have a wonderful husband. He is kind, generous and supportive. We had 1 Corinthians 13 read at our wedding, the "Love chapter" and I am constantly trying to live up to everything that 'Love is...'. I know the power of prayer and I know that it can change a persons heart. I am hoping that by reading this book it will change my heart so I can show constant LOVE to my husband. I want to be patient and kind, not jealous or proud. I have moments when I want to hide under a rock after showing some kind of jealousy or being flat out rude to him. I want to be supportive of him, but not overbearing or demanding. Those are my prayers for now, I am sure they will change as I read this book. I cant wait to see how God changes my heart.
Quote from the book " Many things that happen in a marriage relationship are actually part of the enemy's plan set up for its demise. But we can say, 'I will not allow anything to destroy my marriage.'
'I will not stand by and watch my husband be wearied, beaten down or destroyed.'
'I will not sit idle while an invisible wall goes up between us.'
'I will not allow confusion, miscommunication, wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we are trying to build together.'"
"We can take a stand against any negative influences in our marriage in His name to back it up."